


fidem

by esmeanne



Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Pre-Canon, F/M, Human, Human/Vampire Relationship, Vampires, human esme
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:46:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28437102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/esmeanne/pseuds/esmeanne
Summary: The end of the war was old news. The whole town had erupted in cheers, drinks flowing and parties raging.New, however, were the numerous telegrams announcing the imminent arrival of Columbus’ Great War veterans. They were coming home, every parent and wife who hadn’t received a letter of condolences from the United States Army were happily awaiting the return of their loved ones. All except one.Vampire Carlisle / Human Esme AU. Set in 1918.
Relationships: Carlisle Cullen/Esme Cullen
Comments: 5
Kudos: 31





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> a note: for the timeline I’ve created to work, Edward was changed in 1916 instead of 1918. He was still 17, is still frozen at that age.

The end of the war was old news. The whole town had erupted in cheers, drinks flowing and parties raging.  
New, however, were the numerous telegrams announcing the imminent arrival of Columbus’ Great War veterans. They were coming home, every parent and wife who hadn’t received a letter of condolences from the United States Army were happily awaiting the return of their loved ones. All except one.  
“I know,” Carlisle murmured, rubbing his hand up and down her back. Carlisle. “I’m sorry.”  
Esme’s body shook, a sob escaping her as she curled closer to Carlisle. One would think that crying against someone who felt like a giant block of ice would be uncomfortable but Esme never seemed to think so. In fact, she seemed to find great comfort in it, in him.  
“I’m so sorry, my love.”  
“I can’t— he’s coming home.”  
“Let me take you away.”  
Esme lifted her head from his shoulder, wiping at her eyes. “We can’t. We can’t run. The police will figure it out.”  
Carlisle ran his hand along her back, trying his best to ignore the little voice in the back of his head telling him just how improper it was for them to be where they were. A single man and a married woman behind closed doors, her in his lap. He wondered what people would say, wondered if it was wrong how little he truly cared anymore. All he cared about was her.  
“I’m a vampire, remember? I can make us disappear.”  
“He’ll find me. I know you think you can hide me away but he’ll always find me. Every time I’ve tried to run, he’s found me.”  
Carlisle sighed, lifting a hand to wipe the tears from her cheek. She was right. He couldn’t truly make her disappear, not with the world constantly evolving and technology advancing before his eyes. Someone would see her if they were to go out, someone would recognize her. He would have to lock her away in the house and what kind of life would that be? He couldn’t do that to her. “I love you.”  
“I love you too.” She told him, lifting her hand to rest against his cheek. “And I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I married him, that we can’t be together like a normal couple.”  
He shook his head. “Honey, I don’t think we’d ever be a normal couple. I mean, what kind of normal man decides to go steady with an artist?”  
Esme laughed softly, a few tears escaping with it. “And what woman would ever want to be with a doctor?”  
...  
An hour or so later, he was walking her home. They stood a respectable distance apart, Carlisle slowing his pace to match hers.  
“How long do you have?”  
“A few days.”  
“Perhaps I could come by? I can keep myself hidden just to make sure you’re safe.”  
Esme shook her head. “I don’t want you to see.”  
“I can just bandage up your wounds after he’s finished?”  
His tone was harsher than she was used to but she didn’t flinch away, not from him. “You’ll kill him if you do and I don’t want you to have to live with that nor do I want you to have to leave because of a murder inquiry.”  
They walked in silence toward the little green two story house with yellow flowers in the front yard. When she stepped onto the first of the stairs leading to the porch, she looked back at him. “Will you stay for a little while? I want to spend time together while we can.”  
Carlisle followed her inside, locking the door behind him and stepping out of his loafers. She didn’t like shoes in the house— he’d learned that during his first of many visits to her home since they’d met a year after her husband was drafted into the War.  
He glanced around the living room she’d decorated little by little over the years Charles had been gone. She’d hung curtains, placed rugs and knick knacks along the mantle above the fireplace. Little figurines that reminded her of the animals she’d played with on her parents farm sat alongside the wedding photographs she’d laid face down.  
“I don’t want you to see him, Carlisle.” Esme admitted, stepping out of her own shoes. The drop from the height she maintained while wearing her t-strap heels made their height difference more pronounced and while such a contrast was frightening with Charles, with Carlisle it didn’t cause her a second thought.  
“Because he’ll be angry with you if he knew that we were...friends?”  
Her lips quirked slightly at that— they were far more than friends and they both knew it. “No, I don’t want you to see him. You and— and this wonderful relationship that we have is so good. You are good. The very last thing I want is for you to have to see something so...awful.”  
“I’m no saint, Esme. I’m the very definition of a monster. You don’t need to protect me.”  
“I know monsters.” Her voice was firm as she reached out to fiddle with his suspenders. She tugged him to her, lifting her eyes to meet his when he came willingly. “And you aren’t one of them.”  
When he raised a hand to her cheek, he saw the flicker of panic in her eyes before she relaxed. His icy palm cradled her cheek, his thumb rubbing along her cheekbone when she leaned into his touch. “I can’t just sit by and wait for him to hurt you.”  
Esme rested her hand over his against her cheek, her eyes slipping closed as his thumb moved to trace along her bottom lip. “We need time to come up with a plan, a good plan that will ensure that you are not suspected of anything and that Charles can’t trace me. It can’t just be a spur of the moment decision. You need to think this through.”  
“I can do that.”  
“Don't just— don't uproot your life here because you feel like you have to protect me.”  
“I do have to protect you.” Carlisle told her, his near black eyes meeting hers. He was always getting lost in them. “I have to. I love you and I can’t— Esme, I’d want to run away with you no matter the situation.”  
She couldn’t help but smile at that, opening her eyes to meet his. “You need to feed.” Esme murmured. “Your eyes are nearly black.”  
Carlisle nodded in agreement despite knowing that he’d hunted earlier that morning. His eyes always darkened around her, giving him away.  
“I’d offer up some of mine but…” Esme teased, tugging again on his suspenders until there was no space between them. “You don’t want me to be a vampire.”  
“That’s not true.”  
“You have yet to seem anything but hesitant every time I bring the subject up.”  
He rested his palm against the wall beside her head. “Says the woman who refuses to run away with me.”  
“I don’t want you to throw away your life.”  
“Just as I refuse to watch you throw away yours.”  
Esme sighed, her heart rate picking up speed when he leaned in to kiss her cheek. “Carlisle?” She breathed.  
“Yes?”  
“Will you stay with me tonight?”  
“I stay every night.” He told her, pressing another kiss to her cheek.  
“That's not what I meant.” She said, a blush creeping up her neck to pinken her cheeks.  
“I don’t understand.”  
Esme would have laughed if she didn’t know he was one hundred percent serious. He may have lived centuries more than her but there were some aspects of life she could teach him a thing or two about. “In bed with me. I want—”  
“Esme, we can’t.”  
“Charles won’t know.”  
“That’s not it, love. We can’t.”  
“Vampires can’t make love?”  
“No, they can. I mean, I’ve heard from others of my kind that—”  
“You don’t want to?” Esme asked, her brow furrowing slightly.  
Carlisle laughed, an almost sad little thing that had her pressing closer. “I do. You have no idea how much I do. But if we— I would hurt you.”  
“No, you wouldn’t.” She told him. She was sure of that.  
“You’re too fragile, Es. One wrong move, one second of forgetting my strength…”  
“You won’t. You’re not giving yourself enough credit. You’re a vampire surgeon, for Heaven’s sakes, you’re capable of being careful.”  
A few seconds ticked by before either of them spoke again. The whole world seemed still, the only movement the rise and fall of Esme’s chest as Carlisle’s lips moved toward her jaw.  
“Please.” She whispered, curling her fingers into the fabric of his shirt.  
Carlisle lifted her into his arms effortlessly, tightening his arms just slightly when he felt her legs wrap around his waist. Her hands landed on either side of his face, guiding him away from her jaw so that she could press her lips to his.  
…  
“That was amazing.” Esme murmured, curling in close to him under the covers.  
“Are you hurt?”  
“No.”  
“Are you sure?”  
She lifted her head to look at him, brushing her unruly curls back behind her ear. Her hair was always rather difficult but after the hasty removal of pins and a vampire’s hands running through it, it was a lost cause for the evening. “I’ve never felt better. Can you stop worrying now?”  
“About you? Never.”  
“Perhaps worry about kissing me again.”  
Carlisle smiled, lifting his hand to brush another rogue strand of hair out of her face before rolling her underneath him. “I can do that.”  
…  
“You smell like her.” Edward said, his fingers going still against the piano keys. “More than usual.”  
“Hello to you too, Edward.”  
The perpetual teen rolled his eyes. “I can’t believe you slept with her. Some man of God you are.”  
Carlisle sighed. “Edward—”  
“No,” He practically growled. “You’re constantly reminding me to be careful, to keep myself from causing a scene. I haven’t been allowed to pursue my music because of the importance of maintaining this level of quiet mediocrity but you can run around sleeping with married humans?”  
Carlisle hung his coat on the rack, noting the way Esme’s scent had clung to the fabric. “Edward, you don’t—”  
“I understand perfectly, Carlisle. Tell me, have there been more women over the years? Was forcing me to live like a recluse just a game?”  
“You know that she’s the only one. You know— Edward, you can see how much I love her. I didn’t go out and try to find her.”  
Edward was quiet for a moment, still angry but knowing that Carlisle was right. He didn’t need his gift to see just how much this human had managed to captivate him. “What are you going to do? You can’t possibly maintain a relationship with a married human.”  
Carlisle had no intention of doing so. Together, they’d find a way to get her far enough away from Charles that he’d never find her. They could start over, Esme wouldn’t be a married woman if they could manage to conceal her identity—  
“So, we’re moving?”  
“She can’t stay here. Her husband is a monster.”  
“And we aren’t?”  
“Edward, the stories she’s told me are...unimaginable. I have to get her away before he kills her. I’ve been a doctor long enough to know what happens to women like Esme.”  
Instead of responding, Edward began to play again. He tried his best to ignore the images Carlisle’s brain managed to conjure up when considering Esme’s marital stories. Edward didn’t know the woman, didn’t like the situation they’d found themselves in because of her but he hated the thought of such violence plaguing her life. If what Carlisle could gather from her stories was enough to make forgiveness begin to creep into the teenager’s mind. He was angry, of course, but Carlisle was right. They just might have to take her away. That, or make her husband disappear.  



	2. Chapter 2

Esme let out a shaky breath, using the sleeve of the sweater she’d thrown on over her nightgown to wipe at her cheeks. She tried to ignore the throbbing of her head, the way she’d felt her cheekbone snap under the force of Charles’ fist. She could hear him snoring from their bed, the very same bed Carlisle had occupied just a few nights before. 

She felt another wave of nausea overcome her. Cursing to herself, she kneeled down beside the bucket she normally used to scrub the floor. More than anything she hoped the sound wouldn’t wake him. 

When she woke the next morning, it was to Charles shaking her awake. “You get sick again last night?”

“Yeah.” She rasped, willing the nausea away. Her body ached too much to run into the bathroom again. “A few times.”

“You don’t look good. You’re all pale and I don’t want you puking in our bed.” 

“I’m sorry.” She told him, carefully sitting up. 

When she looked as though she was going to gag again, Charles stepped back. “I’m calling for a doctor. If they ask…” He gestured to her swollen cheek. 

“I fell on the stairs.” Esme said, a well-rehearsed lie. “Hit my cheek on the railing and then you got me some ice.” 

“Good girl.”  
…  
She wasn’t sure how long it had been but some time later, there was a knock on her bedroom door. 

“Come in.” Esme said, sitting up against the headboard. She pulled her sweater tighter around herself as the door opened. 

She held back her gasp at the sight of him, wiping the surprise from her face when she noticed Charles following behind him.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with her, Doc.” Charles said, giving Esme a warning look over Carlisle’s shoulder. 

“Alright.” Carlisle said, meeting her eyes. “I’ll do an examination and see what we can do. Would you mind getting her a glass of water and a warm towel?”

After giving her another look, Charles left the room. When Esme heard his heavy boots on the stairs, she began to speak.

“What are you doing?” She whispered, voice wavering when he reached out to touch her swollen cheek. 

“I heard that you needed a doctor. I volunteered to take the call.”

She lifted her hand to wrap it around his wrist, tears escaping as he studied the wound. “It’s fine.”

“It isn’t fine. Why on Earth—?”

“We had an argument and I spoke out of turn. It’s fine.”

“It’s not fine, Esme.” He practically growled.

Esme had never seen him so angry before. There was fire in his eyes and she could see just how hard he was clenching his jaw. Despite that, his hands were gentle against her. “ I don’t know what to do. I’ve been getting sick all night and I still feel nauseous.”

Carlisle pressed his lips to her forehead, his brow furrowing. “You aren’t feverish.” 

His careful hands moved down her neck, examining her as he would any patient. 

“Carlisle?” She murmured. 

“Yes?”

“It feels like morning sickness.”

“Morning sickness?”

She let out a breath. “I lost a baby just a few months before Charles was drafted. I had horrible morning sickness…”

“It’s only been a few days since we...there’s no way.”

“Can vampires even procreate?”

“No, they— not with each other.”

“But with a human?”

“I don’t know.”

Before either could speak again, Esme was climbing from the bed and rushing into the bathroom. Carlisle followed, gathering her hair in his hands as she got sick again. “Oh, honey…”

Carlisle helped her back into bed just as Charles was stepping into the room. “Sorry. I didn’t know you moved the towels.” 

He tossed it to Esme, Carlisle catching the towel before it could hit her. “Thank you. Mr. Evenson, I’m afraid I need to bring her to my office for some further examinations.”

“It’s that serious?” He asked. “She can’t just sleep it off?”

“I’m afraid not.” Carlisle told him. “Now, I am going to take her in my automobile and you can follow behind if you’d like.”

“She's my wife. I’ll drive her myself.”

Esme nearly flinched at the tone of his voice. She knew that tone, that horrible tone that always preceded a beating. “Charles—”

“I’m afraid I need to keep an eye on her. And you wouldn’t want her to vomit in your automobile, would you?”

Esme watched Charles wrinkle his nose at the thought. His dark eyes met hers, giving her a severe look that had her averting her gaze. 

“Alright, fine. I’ll meet you there.” 

After that, things moved rather quickly around the bedroom. Carlisle had convinced Charles to head to the hospital and the vampire had zoomed into her closet. From there, he moved to her dresser, back to the closet, the bathroom.

“Carlisle!” She called, making him freeze at the foot of her bed. “What are you doing?”

He lifted a bag he’d packed her in just a matter of seconds. “We have to go.”

“To the hospital?”

“No. We have to get away. I don’t know where just yet but we need to go.”

“Carlisle…” She stood from the bed, stepping toward him.

“I can hear the heartbeat.” 

“What?” Her hands fell to her stomach, pressing gently over the small bump she hadn’t realized was there. 

“I don’t know how. I don’t— Esme, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what this thing could do to you.”

She stepped back, furrowing her brow. “Thing?”

“This isn’t a baby. I don’t know what it is. But I have to get you away. I need to monitor your condition. It could kill you and Charles would sit by and let it happen.”

Esme hesitated just a few seconds before reaching out to snatch the bag from him.

“Esme—”

“You’ll never fit everything if you’re throwing it in like that.” Her hands were shaking as she reorganized the bag. “My jewelry box is on the dresser. Oh, and my paintbrushes.”

“Where are they?” He asked, handing her the jewelry box with careful hands.

“They're under the bed. They’re taped to box-spring.” 

Carlisle gave her a look but went to retrieve them. “That’s an odd place to keep your art supplies.”

Esme took them from him, carefully wrapping them up in one of her dresses before placing them in the bag. “They were my grandfather’s. I didn’t want Charles to break them.” 

Once they had her things packed in the small bag, he lifted it to his shoulder and then reached out to pull her into his arms. 

She gasped, her arm wrapping around his neck. “Carlisle.” Esme gasped, a small smile tugging at her lips until a wave of nausea washed over her again. “I can walk.”

He shifted her slightly, carrying her in a more comfortable position. “I’ve got you.”  
…  
“What the hell are you doing?” Edward exclaimed upon stepping foot into the house. “The entire town is talking about the two of you!” 

“Oh my God.” Esme said, sitting up from where she was resting on the sofa. “Carlisle—”

“It’s okay. We’re going to leave.”

“Oh, thank you for telling me.” Edward growled, tossing his school bag onto the floor.

“It’s an emergency, Edward.”

Esme watched the boy, watched the way he softened just slightly when his eyes landed on her. “I’m sorry. I wish we were meeting under better circumstances.” She told him. “Carlisle’s told me so much about you.”

Edward looked at Carlisle, raising his brows in question. When the doctor only shrugged and went back to packing, he stepped toward the couch. 

“He’s told me about you as well.”  
“He has?”

“Well,” Edward said, taking a seat on the opposite end. “he’s thought a great deal about you and that’s as good as talking for me.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I’m a telepath.” He explained, watching her eyes widen. Edward chuckled softly. “No, Carlisle can’t hear your thoughts.”

It didn’t take long for Carlisle to silently explain the situation to Edward, the two of them exchanging looks before moving so quickly around the house that it began to make Esme sick again. 

This time when she felt icy hands holding her hair back, they were slightly smaller and a bit hesitant. 

“I’m sorry.” She rasped.

“Why?” Edward asked. “We’re the ones who made you dizzy.”

“I never wanted you to have to uproot your life for me.” 

The teenager sighed, nudging the bucket toward Carlisle who took it away after Esme was sitting up again. “I knew months ago that we’d leave because of you one day. Carlisle— you’re all he thinks about. I’ve known him for a few years and he’s never thought like that before.”

Esme looked over her shoulder, watching as he cleaned out the bucket in the next room. She knew he could hear everything being said, that he wasn’t denying any of it. 

“I knew that we’d either leave to keep you safe or take you away to do so. It was only a matter of time.”   
…  
“Running would be faster.” She heard Edward say as he slung a bag over his shoulder. 

“Esme’s too nauseous right now for that.” Carlisle said. 

“As if your driving would be any better for her.” Edward shot back. 

“You run ahead and get the house set up. Build a fire so that Esme doesn’t freeze. She and I will drive out.”

Esme watched the two men share more silent conversation before Edward waved goodbye to Esme and sprinted from the home.

“Is he upset?” Esme asked Carlisle. “I don’t want to harm your relationship with him…”

Carlisle smiled. “Edward and I are fine. He’s a bit of a brooding teenager at times but he understands. We’ve had to move before and we’ll move again, it’s alright.” 

Esme nodded a little, letting out a shaky breath as she watched him lift a few of their bags and rush them to the car. In a matter of seconds he was back in front of her. 

“We should go.” He said, helping her to her feet. “They’ll begin looking for us soon.”

“If they haven’t already.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry that the formatting is so bad. I’m trying to fix it.


End file.
